Shattered Pieces of Imperfections

Of my new habit

2011-11-06T19:13:00.001+08:00

Having lived in this country for all my life, I hereby declare I don’t like heat at all. The hot weather makes me bitter and uncomfortable. And when it gets too hot, I turn into a grumpy, desperate woman looking for a place with air- con. This is definitely not cool. I love shopping malls and definitely IMU campus. In fact, I love any place that’s acceptable degree of coldness. And food, too! Among all desserts, I love ice- cream the most because it is served chilled. It cools down the heat, and the glucose rush from the ice- cream makes me happier, even.

Just lately, I somehow figured that I actually enjoy certain amount of burning sensation on my body. This one I talk about is hotter than the water I used for bathing. Like the hot soup on the dining table and the sun outside, it will literally burn my skin if I am not careful enough. Seriously, it is very hot. But, I somehow love the feel of it.

This unusual habit developed last week when I was sitting for exam. Just as the nights became quiet and bedtime approached, I got myself a pail of hot water and placed it underneath my study desk. I boiled a jug of hot water at the same time in case the one in the pail cooled off. Then I dipped my naked feet in the water and enjoyed the burning sensation from below. I could sense my vessels dilate as the heat radiated up to my knees. The blood flow was accelerated and it felt as if the blood circulation throughout my whole body became excellent. Every organ in my body worked better than ever so my body went into a very good condition—I felt healthier!

I do this almost every night when I am reading or otherwise. Normally I do it for a good 30 minutes. But sometimes, I permit myself an extension of 15 minutes. It is nature that the water cools down very fast before the time is up. So I will be adding hot water every now and then. I need to make sure the temperature is just right for me to feel good.

When all is done 45 minutes later, I shall empty the pail and pat my naked feet dry with a towel. The skin looks slightly reddish but I assure you it is not burnt. To prevent dehydration, I rub some lotion to my legs afterward. It feels really good doing that. As a young woman, pampering ourselves necessarily is a desire. What I love doing apart from this, by the way, is browsing through my quote book on my bed with sentimental instrumental music playing on my music player while doing usual facial mask.

Feet soaking in ~~hot~~ warm water was said to be very powerful in bringing relaxation to every part of the body. I certainly it is! Some said that it helps to draw toxins out of the body through sweat glands in the feet and make you more refresh. I don't feel anything like that though but anyways. As I mentioned earlier, feet soaking improves circulation. The pulse rate picks up; the heart pumps out the blood to the whole body through dilated vessels and right, the blood flow is significantly enhanced. It's good for the skin, and surprisingly it treats calluses and corns. If you have hard toe nails you find difficulty trimming, feet soaking may soften them for you.

Usually this home remedy is advised to last 15- 30 minutes. And if you like, you can add a teaspoon of lavender oil or lemon juice into it for refreshment. You may also use otherwise, such as sea salt or soda powder. They are all good-- provide you relaxation and detoxification. However, like any other remedies, feet soaking has its pros and cons. People with diabetes ought to be very careful about it. They might have to consult doctors before doing that because of their circulation issues.

Personally I really enjoy soaking my feet into a tub of hot water. Try it, my dear friends. You have nothing to lose. And I am sure some day, you would be grateful.

Of first night out after exam

2011-11-05T20:41:00.000+08:00

The other night after exam I was at Starhill, which is positively the most fascinating place I had ever been to this year. That was my first time-- quite an irony because I had living in this city for years and never once I had entered the building although I had been sticking around that area so much!

Shame.

I went there because of my friends. It was the evening after our final paper, my friends from another course had decided that we should go watch a movie and then had dinner at Jogoya restaurant. If you never heard of it, Jogoya is a Japanese dining place at Starhill that serves buffet. It offers a large variety of exquisite dishes for Japanese food lovers, and the price is dear. However, it has promotion every now and then so basically, it is still considerably affordable (to some people).

Japanese food is not of my liking all this time. The only things I like are merely unagi and the squid. Definitely no raw food. I never dared try. Few years back, I had this experience with raw eggs that completely gave me nightmare. As if one was not enough, I even had two. Awfully disgusting taste down the throat! After that, I just did not want myself to imagine how it would be like to go with other raw food. Never mind eating them.

But that particular night, I tried. It was a different story then.

My girlfriends and I reached Starhill around 8 at night after a movie at Pavillion. It was relatively quiet inside. There was some instrumental music playing, but very few people at sight. I noticed a stage in the middle of the ground floor, on which there were drums, microphone stands and some musical instruments. The board behind them said this coming Sunday, there would be a musical event going on in the afternoon. Please don't ask me for details because I had forgotten exactly. Anyway, interested people-- go check out yourself.

The Japanese restaurant is located upstairs. I was amazed by the number of people awaiting outside the dining place. That was probably the liveliest place in the entire building. I supposed the people were there because of the 'Buy 1 Free 1' promotion like me and the girls. The total bill came out as RM220 for the four of us-- I only paid RM55 and I could get everything inside!

The ambient and smell of the food had completely got me. Of course, the crazy amount of food too! Raw seafood, sushi, noodle, hot soups, cooked seafood and other fried stuffs, pastries, desserts and so much more. They serve Japanese, Chinese and Western cuisine altogether. It was a complete food paradise. All look absolutely mouth- watering and I felt totally overwhelmed and dizzy because I was very hungry that time but the crazy amount of food made me don't know where and how to begin.

I am not exaggerating. I may have been a queen exaggerator, but no, I'm not exaggerating this time.

We got ourselves a good seat just facing the sushi stand, and then I started pondering hard on what I should eat. I thought, since I never tried raw food before and I had paid quite some amount of money, I must make that night unforgettable. So I became very crazy. I took all the seafood I like at the onset-- raw seafood-- and then indulged myself in it. Thought it would be awesome, but I then figured out my stomach could not really tolerate it. These raw things tasted strange in the mouth and when they went down my GI tract, the coldness of them gave me chill. I had to eat with a lot of wasabi that made me tear but still, ask for more. I totally love wasabi anyways.

After a few bites, I decided I should give up. So I picked some cooked food afterward. They were alright but I did not eat much. The dessert stand on the other side attracted me very much. So instead of eating proper food, I chose to eat the pastries and desserts. Guess what, the cakes are awesome and the ice- creams are especially marvelous. They provided Haagen Daz and New Zealand Natural. And I could eat with the waffles. Splendid combination.

We girls spent a long time there chatting and observing people around us at the same time. It was a really pleasant night. We talked about miscellaneous stuffs from books to boys to everything else. Very relaxing. No more thinking about exam and research. We finally had our time- out. Yes, finally this crappy semester 7 was all over! I couldn't be happier.

The restaurant closes down around midnight. And we stayed there just as late as that. Before we left the building, one of the girl suggested me to check out their washrooms because they had a very unique concept. And I did. Yes, the interior design is special. What's most fascinating is that it has this huge cogwheel that you had to turn manually in order to draw water for you to wash hand. If you are a lazy asshole, there is a worker even in the toilet who can help you with that. You may give her some tips if you like.

There were a number of dining places of different cuisine at the lower ground floor. All of which look classy and extraordinary. You bet only elites can afford going there to dine, not people like me who is still studying and not yet financially independent.

After the stroll around that area, we figured it was already very late so we got ourselves a taxi and left. RM25 from Bukit Bintang to Vista Commonwealth-- still alright for midnight. Anyways, I had a good night out. And there will be more of it in these coming weeks because you know what, I am having holiday now!

You know you love me. xoxo.

Too little time- so true, so false?

2011-07-09T16:23:00.002+08:00

When was the last time i laughed so hard and shouted and screamed like a care- free kid with friends? I literally could not remember anymore. It was ages ago when i still felt positively bubbly and energized at all times. Now, every day, every moment, i always feel occupied. With miscellanous stuffs. The little mind works too hard, it never stops thinking-- from studies to work, self- development and future life... even this little thing called relationship with others.

My mom is very concerned-- she thought i was so busy that i have no time for anything in this final year. But she doesn't understand. Certainly, there is a lot of work to be done just lately. And yeah sadly! i am not even close to finishing all of them. There is a whole lot of reading to do, topics to think about and so. However, i definitely do have some time for some entertainment... I can always make time... even though it's very much less.

A person like me barely sit still. So i am still going out there to feel the life outside books and do something exciting once in a while. Seriously. I do not want to live a life like a nerd, who knows nothing outside medicine and all; who defines entertainment as watching documentaries and playing memory games. That is pathetic.

Semester 7, by far, is considerably alright. It isn't yet as crazy and hectic as what my seniors had described. Really. Aside from the X hundred pages of journals, brain torturing teaching plans, what else is there? Ok, some more lists of journals- to- read. What else again? No. I don't know.

A senior told me in this semester, i would have to carry my laptop all around, spend the whole day rushing to complete miscellaneous tasks assigned daily and that i might not even have enough time for otherwise. Like, to breath. I really want to believe this is not true... Even after our research lecturers come back-- i haven't actually started doing research proposal and such because those lecturers are not back from vacation just yet.

Now i feel like i am somehow still enjoying the bits and pieces of my life, even though, sometimes, i happened to get all annoyed and frustrated with the errands that i bitched for a while and become less understanding. I try to avoid anything like that to happen, again, to anyone i care. God bless. Good and bad things happen all the time every single day, no one should be too hard on himself/ herself or other people. It was really unwise when i had to argue with a friend over an ID number days ago. On the phone! >.<

Things would be so much easier to resolve if.....

Anyway, what are you readers up to on this lovely Saturday? It is a great time to get away from books for a bit after the overwhelming weekdays, eh? I have some plan today to finish 100 pages of a journal article. But I have also inserted some sweet hours for good food and few episodes of Melissa and Joey. Those who don't know Melissa and Joey or haven't watched Melissa and Joey, please watch. They make you happy, because they are funny!

Of being liberal-- this is clean

2011-06-06T16:13:00.001+08:00

http://www.thestar.co.za/wives-urged-to-be-whores-in-bed-1.1078683

So i was reading the news about the "Obedient Wife Club" lately. Finally Malaysia is moving forward and officially opening up topics like that to the public, urging wives to be whores in bed lol. Some people i know of sorta over-reacted and commented that this whole thing is absurd, which I don't care why, but I, in actual fact, feel pretty neutral about it.

How does it even affect you whether this women behaves like a whore or not to her husband? That is couple's preference-- you may like it or you may not. Anyway, you're still a student out there, still working on getting a degree. So why do you even bother now? Right, you may not like the idea, then chill, don't make it happen to you or your wife in future. Just be cool with it.

The end of the story.

What i actually wanna say is, i was just surprised myself. Maybe i was ignorant or something, but i had always thought Malaysia is pretty much on the very conservative side. It does not even allow people to discuss about sex publicly or whatsoever. Most of all, it bans certain good singers abroad from coming to the cities to have concert simply because of their sexiness in nature.

Say for example, someone like Avril Lavigne if you ever think she is not bad. Of course, she had come here before but the fact is this did happen to her. I got this from a friend long time ago, who claimed she read it on the news.

Yea, i know that look on your face. I had had the same look too. Avril Lavigne is that punky Canadian rock star, who is always in her tight tops and short skirts and pants. That is it all. If you really wanna talk about sexy, well, Beyonce is definitely in the list at the very top. But Avril Lavigne. She doesn't walk or sing or dance like her. She doesn't really appeal to the public in that sense of sexiness the way Beyonce does. Why ban her?

If you happen to hear S&M by Rihanna, then you understand what i'm going to say. Negatively, it is a dirty song but positively, it is a not-too-bad record by Rihanna. That's her style anyway. Get used to it.

So the lyric for S&M is totally about s-e-x. You hear that word throughout the whole song. Expected, our country as it is, won't like it therefore authorized people decided to censor all the s-e-x word. I literally heard the censored version when i was shopping in a mall one day. And i found it ridiculous.

If you think the song is dirty, don't play it in public. If you wanna play it in public, then don't censor it. Because if you censor every 'sensitive' words, people don't even recognize that as a song anymore. I don't know what that is. You should have listened to the censored version because it is really sick. I actually thought the cd player was damaged or something like that before i realized...

Anyway, enough of saying before i got myself into more trouble. To those who are so over-reactive towards "Obedient Wife Club", learn to be liberal or whatever. Who are we to judge anyways if it's not about you?

Rant 2; Woot, Holidays!

2011-06-05T13:41:00.000+08:00

Being home is so great. Life is slow, relaxing and serendipitous back in this little town where I grew up in. I literally feel that I can breathe easier, focus better, even think smarter. Most of all, I learn to take things easy, not anymore in a rush, impatient manner and make my little mind overly occupy with miscellaneous stuff— absolutely unnecessary.

People here, most of them, take their sweet time in the littlest thing they do. Seriously. Hurrying is needless; we’ve got time. Say, the town is relatively small. To travel from one place to the other does not require much time-- 20 mins give or take. What’s more, considering the community is aging of late, dashing all over the place like ‘time-waits-for-no-one’ is certainly uncommon. So really ask yourself now, why hurry then? No need.

I think you’ll laugh if I tell you this: One significant adaptation I need to make whenever I come back home is simply to walk slower. Really, just. slower. down. my. pace. I don’t walk fast already compared to some of my friends out there. But here, to some Sibu citizens, it seems fast. Many times I’d noticed, when I strolled around the town with family or whoever, I was always couple of steps ahead of them. And more often than not, my sister would sneer at me deliberately, like she did not understand I was just accustomed to walking a little bit faster after living in the largest city of the country for some time.

Anyways, speaking of truth, I’m not selling my hometown short now—I love my hometown—but there really are not many exciting places here for us to chill out. Usually, people prefer to stay indoor away from the sun and feel comfy. This is what I do back here. Much less hanging out with friends at coffee shops all the time, gossiping and enjoying teasing one another over drinks then change location once tired. Not even mention going to karaoke in the middle of the day or to the same malls, looking at the things as if every day there is always something new.

Pfff.

I rather enjoy myself home, feeling pampered after a long overwhelming semester studying and working so much in the hospital. Come to think about my previous decision of staying back in the city this holiday and possibly get some part- time job, I snickered at myself. Do I not need this short break for myself to relax and de-stress a little for the very sake of my pre-existing and very much disturbing hormone imbalance problem? Well. Honestly I do although my stubborn nature always wanna deny. Gladly mum booked this flight ticket many months ago so I could not refuse therefore my plan could not work out.

On a side note, I was told that many young women, they only start to ovulate properly and normally around their twenties. Scientifically proven! So I decided to think that mine is just starting to adjust so it’s gone a tad haywire meanwhile and give me dozens of problems. Anyway, it’ll get better in any time to come. All I need for myself now is to be absolutely positive and then avoid stress— simply just rest well, sleep well and all.

Awww, holidays! Sweet serendipity!

Rant I; Dont read if you dont like ranting

2011-05-14T01:00:00.005+08:00

A night with a mixture of feelings.

But i'm just gonna talk about the beach that totally gave me a blast. And the food at somewhere 30 mins drive away from where i stay now.

Goddammit, they were so abso-bloody-lutely awesome that both had got us wanting for more. We all enjoyed our food totally despite the price because it was just too worth it for the four of us. RM50-ish for seafood, ostrich meat, vegetable, taufu and rice! *Drools* Admit it, it was a catch. They were really delicious. So finger licking good that we even topped up orders, seriously.

Epic.

And then the beach, of course.

It was dark and creepy and quiet at PD beach just now because-- who would go to a beach at such time? Anyway, we four crazy nursing students successfully lived up the place with our mindless laughters, screams and shouts racing alongside the beach. I always love running on the sand barefoot like a kid. And just tonight, i came to find that running over colonies of crabs with my naked feet was far more fun and exciting. Not joking. In case you don't know, i was really scared of those little things, never mind getting close and stepping on them. Eww, disgusting! But tonight, with heaven sent courage finally, i managed to become that frigging gigantic serial crab killer, ramping over those tiny creatures with my huge feet and feeling satisfied seeing them crawling panickly outta of way as fast as they could to NOT BE KILLED. How cool that was!

Brave and freaky me! I like that.

And..

Oh, i was so craving for ice-cream just now. I always thought, beach and ice-cream are inseperable. I didn't wanna care if i swore to seriously quit sugary stuffs before. The mission had to fail tonight because :-S! Anyway, moving on, my friends and i went to a petrol station for junkies. I bet the shopkeeper there probably thought i was drunk or something, coming up with some frigging nonsense and intentionally embarrassed everyone of us while buying Cornetto ice-cream.

LOL. I was just being crazy. Guilty!

Hey i mean seriously, sometimes we really have to let loose like that because it's literally good for us, especially after a long overwhelming week. Do it once in a while, peeps! I could feel myself more energized, bubbly and young after all. ('alright' by supergrass sets in) Woots.

On a side note, today is my last day in seremban for this semester. I have to go back to BJ again finally to get ready for end of semester exam before i can proudly announce that i'm an official final year nursing student. I don't know whether i should be happier or sadder right now.

Meh, i should sleep now. The lights just went out. Kudos if you read till this part; Good night, you know i care.

Of art and complaints

2011-05-01T13:14:00.002+08:00

So it has been some time since i last displayed a piece of my craft artistry. The final one i showed public is like, i don't know, seemingly quite some donkeys' year back. Apparently i'm not as into art as it seems, just believe that. You see some people they can draw and paint anytime, everywhere- street walls, schools, toilets yada yada, even clinics. For paeds, of course. It comes so naturally to them, whereas for me, no. And i have plenty of excuses for that wth. Most of the time, I'd be just as pathetic as i am, claiming that i can't get any inspiration at all and demand for double or triple extra time for myself just to figure out a little something then...

Well, screw me.

Anyway, I still thank God my dad's artistic gene runs through my blood but sorrys, i just can't fully utilize it for good. Lazy as i am wth. I will only do art like, well, once in many, many, many months when i'm completely bored outta my mind or my mood's at its best. It becomes totally wasted when you're gifted with something but you don't use it. That's what happened. So you know:

I don't draw much, don't even mention painting, geez. DIY is quite impossible for me, i rather go to a store and get whatever needed. Something simple like pencil holder, gift baskets, even cards-- i barely Do- It- Myself. Except when i was very much younger, of course. Lets face it, it's not like i have so much time and patience in my hands right now. Every day is like a new race; Every day there's so much to happen, and i can't focus on so many things at one time. I have to worry about A while planning for B while carrying out C, at the same time, evaluating D and reforming E.

Deng.

So much to grumble about, always. I just feel so sick and tired.

Anyways, think i better stop this annoying monologue now. Let me show you some random pictures.

Some chinese paintings i did during the holidays months ago. I actually quite like it myself, especially the flowers :)

I had a pleasant surprise to see how the autumn leaves turned out. I was struggling in disbelief at first that i could actually paint 'em.

This is just another something i made recently. A card, finally! Nothing complicated, just so you notice. I completed it in a short time. Pretty pleased with the outcome however, considering that i haven't been doing anything like this in a long time. fml.

Songs for life

2011-04-23T16:34:00.001+08:00

Who is your favourite artist for love songs?

For someone who loves R&B/ soul like me, i'm all in for Ne-yo

And believe me not

He has the most songs that melt my heart

All're either from his own albums or others to whom he wrote the songs

xxxx

Trust me, i actually am confident in my taste of music

For some reason

Check out my playlist if you like, bite me fml

Anyway, lets get in the groove of some smooth, sexy R&B

Me bringing this to you--

Ne-yo's *I'm in love*

I'm that woman for my man.

Have you found yours to dedicate this song to?

lessons learnt, mistakes overturned- i survived

2011-04-08T21:08:00.004+08:00

In life, people are just gonna hurt you, break you and leave you alone in the dark to face your own sorrow and self empathize. There is no way to escape from such pain caused by either spouses or friends-- even strangers-- when there is this thing called love in our heart. In one of Elizabeth Gilbert's books, it says that being heart-broken isn't exactly bad; it means that we've treasured something and tried for it-- and that's a good thing. Take it as a lesson to learn and overturn the mistakes, instead. Chances are you will avoid similar incidents from happening again and open up to better opportunities in the brighter future.

... ...

Yes, not that i don't know, these are all right 100% and i certainly have them at the back of my mind. I was pretty much a strong and independent girl after being through so much donkey years back when i was younger, rebellious and adventurous. Believing that i still was, i actually convinced myself that i was okay and definitely would be fine after that incident. Somehow, the truth that my mind couldnt actually get rid of what had happened haunted me a lot afterwards. It was all in my head and seemed to play over and over again. I couldn't take the pain just yet just as much as i 'prepared myself'. At some point, i'd got so upset that i hoped all this bloody thing could just be washed away by the pouring rain outside the window and be gone forever.

Apparently this seemed to me was not just the person alone and what's between us. In fact, what mattered the most were the words said that night. Pissed off, I literally could not hold my anger and had almost wanted that person to just get lost forever. I had reflected every piece of information after i reached home then frustration and a mixture of other feelings overwhelmed me. For the first time after so long, i felt so terribly horrible that i almost did not know how to suppress my emotion. It had progressed to the breaking point when Chris Medina's 'What are words' played in my music player just at that bloody wrong time of my life.

I remember, the next morning i woke up somewhat earlier than usual, feeling tons calmer. One principle i strictly adhere to-- 'never keep your anger till sun rise' had actually held me together. Not forgetting also, the second person that crossed my mind as soon as i awoke-- a wise woman i had just talked to the night before the outing, who deliberately had inspired me plenty and made me learn. In my mind, a combination of thoughts overflowed the whole morning and to my surprise, i actually saw myself forgive the person for the damage just as easy as i count 1 to 10. Although i'd still felt a twitch in my heart when i heard from him/ her that day, I honestly found it easier for me to let go than holding on to the pain itself.

Even though it is a challenge, too, to just get over with myself and the hurting feelings. It still causes my heart twitch at times thinking about it accidentally, but say what? This is just the second/ third day.

Anyway.

What is certain now is that: terribly unpleasant thing as such actually forced me to wake and grow up that particular night. Till now, I do not see myself putting blames on that person despite how annoyingly judgmental he/ she is, how pathetically disable he/she is to accept individuality and how inappropriately he/she always does putting very high expectations on others when they are still trying to pick up just as much as they are capable to. "It is stupid to not putting up with that" so i therefore, moving on from juvenile stage, actually prefer to blame myself for all.

I feel better than way.

In case you've not heard: what people always do to you, don't feel too bad and take it too personally. Because the selfish but true-est true is that it is always about themselves in the end. They are not really against anything of you-- and i actually believe in this. Bearing this lesson in mind at the same time, i choose to smile and let go as if nothing ever happens. Who cares people think i'm a coward for not standing up for myself; who cares people think i'm a loser; who cares people think i'm nothing. We don't live for others, but ourselves with a purpose. My purpose in life is not to please others but simply just not to be sorry for myself.

If it's not for that person and whatever happened, many things wouldn't click in my mind like a *snap*. So, come to think about it, I have gained a lot, too-- and that's something really good. I actually realize myself feeling so much better after writing. Calmer and refresh and motivated lol. I could even rap *Just the way you lie* by Emimen if you like, sing you that dang dang dang *All about him* song by auburn and make you a super duper dumb face if you insist.

Yea, just as random as that. No kidding, I'm alright now just so it seems. Not gloomy anymore.

But i want hugs though. Who can give me? xxxx

Voice underneath

2011-04-07T17:36:00.000+08:00

I rather be disliked for who i am

Than be loved for who i am not

Starting Today

2011-03-31T22:55:00.000+08:00

All the splendid boys and girls out there

Let me bring to you Bruno Mars with his breathtaking hit called

Starting Today

Guys who wanna be just as awesome as the way he is should learn his ways

Starting Today

xxxx

What are words

2011-03-26T19:24:00.002+08:00

A song which touches many souls, especially mine.

Say hi to nike!

2011-03-19T16:50:00.001+08:00

Which one would you choose?

Personally

I preferred the first display- I had love at first sight

But then green?

I was like 'hmmm?'

So at last i chose the second pair, which isn't bad either.

Now

I feel like i can run a million miles with my new shoes on.

Nothing people do is against you

2011-03-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

Learn to smile and move on

Whatever happens around you

Don't take it personally

Nothing other people do is against you

It's all about themselves

breakie

2011-03-18T09:55:00.000+08:00

I dislike Jacob wheat biscuits

No matter how much i eat, i still feel hungry

Something is wrong with me?

Biscuits are always not filling for me

I ended up eating a lot of this empty calorie food just now

FML

So next time, biscuits for breakfast again?

No way!

I want fruit juice

I want milk

I want bread or muffin or pancake

I want anything nice but not biscuits

I want something like this

If only

2011-03-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

Often, we let opportunities slip away.

And then we swear:

That would never bother me

As there are plenty of better options out there

But we do not know

Just as much as we believe better is going for us

Life turns us down most of the time

That is when

We start to look back and wonder

Why had we not treasured the chances granted before

...

If only human has the ability to predict the future

Life would get so much better

After all

the voice within

2011-03-15T09:11:00.000+08:00

What i figured out lately is that:

Sometimes

We need to realize that we can't have it all

Even if that is something that we long for so much

But it's taken; it's owned

And we know we can't have it anymore

We just have to move on and be happy

Even if it's the hardest thing to do

Love at risk

2011-03-14T10:07:00.000+08:00

Be aware of what you're getting into

Once you're in love

You're at risk

lolol

Nothing is easy

2011-03-10T15:39:00.000+08:00

It is so easy

To say anything we want without a thought

It is so easy

To point our fingers at someone, judge and blame

It is so easy

To start an argument and then destroy a relationship

Yes

It is just too easy

If one can care- free and go through life like nothing bothers

Somehow in life

We just can't go through these easy ways

We have to learn

To chill when we are so pissed off

To go through every words in our mind before we speak

To not judge when the person was so wrong just because your hands are not clean enough

To give way and let go like it's all your fault

To go through life care-less

It is just not easy

When life doesn't allow us the easy ways

True facts

2011-03-08T20:19:00.000+08:00

Likewise, there is:

A little desire behind every

"I DON'T WANT"

A little doubt behind every

"I LOVE YOU"

And,

A little love behind

"I HATE YOU"

Friends and foes

2011-02-27T19:19:00.000+08:00

Along your road of life, people might just hurt you. No matter how close you used to be with them. It doesn't actually matter how good you have been treating them and how much you appreciate them in your life. When they do not treasure you as a friend, they certainly would not be bothered about your presence and your effort in enhancing the friendship. As you approach them, they might still smile at you and have hours of leisure chat with you. Somehow, both of you understand that there is no sincerity and trustworthiness in this relationship and both simply are not going to make each other's lifelong friend. Unavoidably, these friends will lie straight in your face when they think necessary, and they won't even care how you get hurt and judge them personally. Do not take these friends too seriously. You have nothing to expect from them. In fact, you have nothing to lose. Do yourself a favour and not to keep the pain in you, and suffer from sadness. True friends in life, are not always easy to find. Understand that.

life as a growing up?

2011-02-20T12:10:00.000+08:00

Hello, blog and fellow readers! Lady imperfecto is alive and back again!!!

...

Damn.

I can't believe the days went by like that, awfully fast enough to give me nightmares. Just as much as i want to relax and enjoy myself after the exam, i have to worry about the fact that i have to start my attachment in the hospital again tomorrow.

Argh. Why?

Sometimes i just don't get myself. The reasons that i can't simply stop thinking and worrying. Almost every day, i have similar stuffs going on over and over in my mind: What does that person think about me. Will i hurt someone if i do this. What's the point of doing this and not that if both outcomes are more or less the same. How am i going to clear the mess in my life and improve it. What should i have for my next meal. Where is the most suitable place i should go if i don't wanna stay in for the weekend. Who can i find to accompany me settle my glocery shopping. How am i going to save more money. What does my future hold. Will what i am doing now really guarantee what i have been hoping for. What if. What about. What for.

And all of that.

Why do people worry so much every single day? And why on earth do i become that typical type of think-too-much person? I have problem falling asleep at times as my brain cells won't rest. I have problem remembering things at times as my mind is preoccupied with miscellaneous thoughts. I have problem with this and that just because of myself. Because i worry unnecessarily.

I don't see the point of worrying anyway. Just so we know it.

Look. The rainstorm still comes even if i worry. The questions still remain unanswered even if i worry. I still have to deal with the same person or same thing even if i worry. Even if i worry, nothing changes. So why do i worry?

Sometimes i hope i can think just the way a child thinks. I can act the way a child acts, and live the way a child lives. At the end of every single day, i feel super content with myself because i watched my favourite mickey mouse show and mommy has kissed me a good night and promised that tomorrow is going to be another great day. I smile to myself in my dreams throughout the night and then the next morning, i wake up to the happy ending of my cinderella dream and the smell of morning fresh air. I pick my most comfortable outfit despite i have been wearing it for the past few days and follow my parents to the mall. There, inside, i quickly make myself to the junk food shelf and get 3 packages of my all-time beloved pringles as well as few bars of chocolate. Daddy and mommy are saying they are bad for health and will increase my risk of getting hypertension and diabetes and all that. But hey, how the hell do i know what those bitties and tension actually mean. I love pringles and chocolate and i want to eat! Don't tell me terms i don't know. Afterwards, when all of us are about to leave the mall, i come across the ice-cream man and i plead dad to buy me one chocolate chip ice-cream because the weather is hot and i can't resist the temptation. Who cares if i just ate my heavy lunch half an hour ago. I can eat, and i still want to eat. Happy, i hop around the place and smile at everyone with my best cheeky smile without caring that some people might actually just think i am crazy.

How great is the life of a child. Never worry about anything that hasn't even yet existed.

I have to learn.

A prayer

2011-02-14T12:38:00.000+08:00

And all this time, i know that i am a blessed person. No matter how distressing some life events i had gone through had torn me apart, pulled me down so hardly that made me dislike my life for the existing unfairness, I will still try to keep my faith strong all along my journey. He, who created me, knows what is best for me. Even if he had taken all the good things i value from me, i want to believe that it was because he has something better in store and he wants to give them to me some time in the future. He wants me to go through this life journey in a hard way, to learn better thus to appreciate him more. That way, he is glorified.

Amen.

A Snail mail with lotsa love

2011-01-28T15:56:00.000+08:00

I just received this letter from a very good friend of mine, which was sent quite a couple of weeks ago, but somehow due to some reasons, i was only able to get it this afternoon. Her words has really made my day. I smiled to myself as i read along and then i realized i begin to miss her a lot.

Hey dear!
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas!
Hope the Whatever Santa Claus or Christmas fairy gives you what you have been wishing for =)

Just want to tell you that, dear, you are so special to me. My life will not be perfect if there is no you in it =)
Your words, your messages are all very encouraging me, so much! I alwasy love to see your comments on my walls or your messages you drop in my mailbox.

Dear, i thank God that he has let us meet and become a friend of you. I don't have much to do for you, dear, but when you need someone to hear you, I am here, offering both my ears and my heart and my shoulder (if you don't mind i'm shorter, you might need to lower your position so that you can lean on it C=)

And dear, I am so proud of you! You are truly an amazing person! You have such an interesting job. I always hope myself can do something to help people. And dear, you are doing it, for me! Hehe... =)

Keep smiling dear! Enjoy every ups and downs in you life. God is teaching you how to live! He is always here with you. He listens to you, he touches you, he feels you, he knows you. Have faith in God that he will do something big in your life. Lay yourself down at His feet!

Love you dear. Take care!

From little miss santa babe with much much much love!
xoxoxo

Awww, i feel like a kid again, feeling just as happy as receiving a real christmas gift from a santa claus whom he believes does exist!

Judge gently

2010-11-07T21:19:00.000+08:00

Pray, do not find fault with the man that limps
Or stumbles along the road
Unless you have worn the shoes he wears
Or struggle beneath his load
...
Do not sneer at the man who is down today
Unless you have felt the blow
That caused his fall or felt the shame
That only the fallen know
...
Do not be harsh with the man that sins
Or pelt him with word or stone
Unless you are sure-- doubly sure
That you have no sins of your own
...
All we have to know,
In the final analysis, whatever we do or say,
It is nothing between you and them
But between you and God

Can't take that from me

2010-10-28T19:15:00.000+08:00

It is a Thursday, not exactly my favourite day of the week. Somehow i feel particularly happy and satisfied for whom i am, and grateful for the people around me. I believe God blesses me a lot even though i doubted him before. I believe he has granted me an unusual purpose in life and wanted me to live with it until he takes away my tomorrows. I am loved and cared. My life is totally a gift.

I do not have to pretend like i am a sophosticated and independent young woman, living the best out of her life and learning to be elegant and lovable. I do not have to be anyone extraordinarily significant to prove my existence and my values in this world. In my beliefs, everyone has their own treasurable values in them, which no one can take away from no matter what they do.

I live for myself in life, but not for others. Unless it is for the goods, i do not have to change whom i am simply just to make our haters like us and be comfortable hanging out with. I do not believe everyone to be able to appreciate me for what i do or such. Neither do I expect everyone to like me. When people around me hurt me and make me sad, I have the right to cry and stay away from them. However, I also learn to forgive and forget what they have done at the same time, and be willing to approach and help them when it is needed. I know i have to stand up after every fall no matter how much it hurts. Every time, when people around me insult me and get on my nerve, I have the right to be angry, too. However, I do not have to treat them the way they do to me, and i shall not let the anger last till sunrise. I know there is no need to create more enemies in life and lose friends.

I do my part properly every single day i live, and i do not let others bring me down and stop me. I learn to be thoughtful and caring even though people do not really care about my feelings and spend time to listen to my sorrows. I learn to like them even though they do not like me, and i hope that someday their wisdom may make them realize that.

This is a blogpost dedicated to a friend whom i care for, and i want him/her to know that i can always be a good listener to help him/her through the pains. We cannot change the world around us, but we can change ourselves to blend in. Try to see more of the good things in life first, and less the bad things. Keep faith that there are still many good people and good happenings going for you.

I never encourage you to fake and tell lies to people and yourself. The fact is sometimes, you just have to protect yourself first. What is the purpose we wear a mask in the wards? It is to create a barrier between you and the microorganisms so as to protect yourself. Likewise, we have to do the same outside the wards. Certainly, we cannot wear it every time as it is not necessary. Keep faith that you are still blessed with chances to come across many more nice people and happenings. We will never know what are going for us next-- they could be another one of the best ever in our life.

Do not falter. Do not lose hope. I am dedicating this song right here, by Mariah Carey specially for this friend, and i want him/her to keep the spirit up. Keep your head up and swim. Do not hold back. Do not break down.

**Can't take that away**

--- Mariah Carey

They can say anything they want to say,

try to bring me down,

But i will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me.

And they can try hard to make me feel that i don't matter at all,

But i refuse to falter in what i believe or lose faith in my dreams.

'Cause there,

There's a light in me that shines brightly,

They can try, but they can't take that away from me.

They can do anything they want to you,

If you let them in,

But they won't ever win,

If you cling to your pride and just push them aside.

See I,

I have learned there's an inner peace i own,

Something in my soul that they cannot possess,

So i wont be afraid and the darkness will fade.

'Cause there,

There's a light in me that shines brightly,

They can try, but they can't take that away from me.

No, they can't take this precious love I'll always have inside me.

Certainly the Lord will guide me where i need to go.

Whoa!

They can say anything they want to say,

Try to bring me down but i wont face the ground,

I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach.

Oh, Lord, they do try hard to make me feel that i don't matter at all,

But i refuse to falter in what i believe in, or lose faith in my dreams,

'Cause there's a light in me that shines brightly.

They can try, but they can't take that away from me.

No, no, no, no....

Eat. Pray. Love.

2010-10-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

Who doesn't know Elizabeth Gilbert nowadays? Who hadn't heard of her?

I know her since couple of months ago because of her well-known book-- , which had been one of the best sellers in mph bookstore for a long time. I have not actually read the book despite so many positive reviews and recommendations from friends and public. I had only read one chapter or two. It doesn't attract me a lot. To me, it's just another book. Somehow, it seems like the whole world is talking about it.

Elizabeth Gilbert-- What's so special about this book?

I never know and not as eager to know just yet until lately. It started when my group of friends began talking about it and suggesting to watch the movie, which was out quite some time ago. I learnt that i should at least know a little so that i would not feel left out. I told myself, must have been really some great book, and the movie would probably be a blast, too.

I have to watch it, i thought.

Then, there at the cinema, i was queing up excitedly, for the ticket. Surprised, i noticed that there were not many people on a friday night somewhat. The theatre was almost filled by less than a quarter only.

Personally, i thought Julia Robert played a great role inside. She was good. The movie did not truly impress me so much, in many ways. It could be because i had set too high of expectations on it and god knows why. Anyway, the messages i inspired from the movie was really beautiful. I was amazingly amazed by the Elizabeth Gilbert's wisdom and affectionism.

I have a habit of collecting meaningful quotes. Elizabeth Gilbert's will be another great collection for me from now on. Many of them are really inspirational for women, in particular. I am a young woman now. I realize the facts in life, and she's very right about so many things.

The quote i like most in the movie is:

Ruin is the gift. Ruin is the gift for transformation of life.

I deeply agree. As i had once a great fall and it had indeed transformed my life. I feel like a different person; I always think it's for the better in life. If it's not for that, i would not be who i am and where i stand now.

Another quote from her, which i like a lot is:

People think soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true mate is a mirror, a person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of you to yourself, and then leave.

A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart you ego a little bit, show you an obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.

... Well said.

Message from the father

2010-07-30T20:34:00.000+08:00

I'd finished reading *Message in a bottle* long, long time ago. But just recently, due to boredom, i picked up reading it again. This is my one of my favourite parts in the novel. Just wanna share with you guys.

Jeb: Sometimes, I swear you think I just fell out the turnip truck and bumbled through life without learning anything along the way. But I know exactly what you’re going through. You’ve gotten so caught up in being alone that you’re afraid of what might happen if you actually find someone else that can take you away from it.

Garrett: I’m not afraid.

Jeb: You know, Garrett. When your mom died, I made excuses, too. Over the years, I told myself all sort of thing. And you wanna know where it got me?
I am old and tired, and most of all, I’m alone. If I could go back in time, I’d change a lot about myself, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you do the same things I did.

*paused*

Jeb: I was wrong, Garrett. I was wrong not to find someone else. I was wrong to feel guilty about your mom. I was wrong to keep my life the way I did, always suffering inside and wondering what she would have thought. Because you know what? I think your mom would have wanted me to find someone else. Your mom would have wanted me to be happy. And you know why?

Garrett was silent.

Jeb: Because she loved me. And if you think that you’re showing your love to Catherine by suffering the way you’ve been doing, then somewhere along the way, I must have messed up in raising you.

Garrett: You didn’t mess up…

Jeb: I must have. Because when I look at you, I see myself, and to be honest, I’d rather see someone different. I’d like to see someone who learned that it’s okay to go on, that it’s okay to find someone that can make you happy.

Jeb: I know you love Catherine very much, but it’s about time to let go now.

If you dislike him, let go; If you do like him, don't

2010-07-30T11:02:00.000+08:00

Many people around me these days were talking about relationship stuff, and it had therefore got me thinking, too. It reminded me about something that had happened quite some time ago. About my so-called crush on a guy...

Me: He’s annoying most of the times. I’ll be honest: My first outing with him was a crap. It was the worst experience amongst all that I had had. Do you know? But confusingly, I don’t know, somehow I still hang out with him.

Friend A: I see that you like him.
I think you like him. Do you know?

Me: No. I do?
But he’s an annoying person at times. Like, there are many things that both of us don’t share any similarity. It’s like we don’t click, no.

Friend A: Ok. You like the guy who is mature, competent, sophisticated, clean and tidy like they would die of shit, likes music and art, and is able to talk nonsense with you and have one to one heart talk.
Which category is he in?”

Me: Okie, frankly, there are really certain things in him which I want in a man. But many times he makes me think, he’s simply not the right person. Like we have some kind of barrier. Like things just don’t seem to work right. I don’t know how to categorize him. He’s almost everything mentioned except clean and tidy but hey, how long do I know him? I might get all wrong!

Friend A: You’ve gotta figure out yourself, Kels.
But if you dislike him, let go before things go wrong that you finally fall for him;
But if you do like him, don’t let chance slip away.”

......

A letter for the hurt soul

2010-07-27T20:21:00.000+08:00

This is a letter for a good friend. Also a letter for the girls who are hurt and lost.

Before i start sharing, i've gotta be honest: I personally am not good in handling relationship stuffs, too. (I probably suck?) There are records in my fail list as well, like any other out there. However, in my belief, girls, no matter what come in our ways-- either good or bad, we have gotta learn to be appreciative anyway. Say, even if you fail, so what? It doesn't mean the end, still, does it? Stand up for ourselves. Be strong and move on like yesterdays if that is the case. Certainly this is hard. It is never easy, but hey it is never too hard, too. Keep the faith, each day can only get better, not worse, alright?

Here is what i wrote. I modified a little before i post it here. Hopefully my readers won't be too judgmental. I am just trying to do a little favour for whoever god knows. Gracias.

----------

Hey dear, i'm glad you wrote me back, telling me stuffs like these that you never told me before. Certainly, I am surprised at the same time. I take this as a good thing for both to open up to a more trusting friendship. C=

Relationship is hardly easy, just so you know. So many people out there are still struggling to go through it, to move on to the end. Some fail several times along the way, some barely even start. Some, well, they must be granted with lots of blessings and good luck, that they can move on for years and years, just like @jia and her boyfriend.

Anyway the main thing i wanna say is, sometimes we still need luck to find the Mr. Right in our life. There are so many guys out there, you see. Each of them have their special talents and potentials. Have you ever wonder why out of so many, you are purely attracted to that one particular guy only? He might not be the best, but he is really something that you therefore can't get out of your mind. Well um, maybe he is really good, humorous, hotness, etc. Or maybe he likes you a lot that you can't resist his love towards you.

In fact, there are so many people out there who could be better, who could do better, too. You just haven't noticed, as likely as not. Now you like him, he likes you... Probably this is also one of God's plans for you, dear. Take it from me. I mean, you are such a sweet girl, honey, and you got so many good things in you, yet you had never really opened up yourself to any guys that you wanna start a relationship with. God perhaps thought that it's time for you to experience something new, so he sent you this guy, who had (once) given you so much of joy, hope and love...

Think back, you must have enjoyed yourself a lot. Both of you spent time together, talk about anything and learn from each other as you grow along. How were those not good? You probably had thought that you were one of the luckiest young women on earth. Well, ok, yes you were and you still are anyway. Even though this guy had all of a sudden turned like a 180 degree.

It is not your mistakes at all. I assume the guy doesnt really know what he was doing. Taking his age into consideration, he's still young. Unless he's really a mature person, he knows what he wants and he'll strive for it and won't play along with this relationship, thinking that it's just as simple as it sounds to just suddenly click on with somebody and then walk away as he likes anytime.

A mature guy knows how to be considerate; A mature guy knows much better way to solve a problem without leaving a girl friend hanging on a string there, confused and feeling... stuck. He knows how a relationship matters and he will be accountable for what he is doing. And he probably still knows how to at least smile at his previous girlfriend and not just walk away like that, pretending like a stranger, even after everything is blown off.

I am not pinpointing him, dear, i want you to know. Don't take me wrong, alright. I am just trying to say... Give him some time. Give yourself some time as well. At the moment, though i know it's hard, play it cool. You deserve better. You know how much you're worth, don't you let such things bring you down alright? Even though at the end of the day, it turns out that this relationship really doesn't work out, you bear in mind that God's bigger plans for you.

He always thinks beyond what we think. He foresees our future.

I believe you're a faithful Christian, babe. So let me continue talking in a more um, spiritual way (put it that way). God sent you this guy and also sent you to this guy... it could be because he wants both of you to learn something from each other, you see. Maybe he wants you to realize something beyond what both of you had had. When both of you were enjoying all the sweet moments in life, he probably also expected you to know what are best for you, and how to be better as days go on ie how to be better person, how to be romantic, how to be this and that....

Perhaps, he is also preparing you for another better relationship, just so you know. So get your knee off the ground now, stand tall, put your shoulder back, inhale a deep mouthful of breathe and move on first. If he really loves you, he will realize how terribly he had blown up everything and then come back to you again.

Don't feel down. Don't be stingy with your smile. Just cheers alright. You have one of the greatest smiles so you need to keep smiling right now. Out there, there will be so many other people who will fall for your smile and hoping to click on with you. They could do better than this guy, God knows. Keep your faith alright. I shall write to you again soon. Hope you're alright, girl.

You have my full support.

Ta-ta.

----------

L.o.v.e

2010-07-20T14:12:00.000+08:00

You have lost that feeling of love

That you experience inability to love and tolerate others for their imperfections

There is no tenderness in your eyes when people are reaching for you

You start criticizing others for little things they do

There are high expectations on others from you

You have lost that feeling of love

And now

You need to bring back that loving feeling

Scribble

2010-04-26T19:45:00.000+08:00

Life's a crap

But hey, let me tell you, i can make this piece of trash into gold, too.

If i have the will, the determination and everything it takes.

Holding on to my own beliefs:

I believe what goes around, comes around.

I believe some people, some things just don't deserve me to pay too much of attention. I just have to let go and move on.

I believe it is pointless to play mind games with people and i am able to free myself from being set up.

I believe efforts always pay off in life. Anyway anyhow i just have to keep trying.

I believe miracles happen, too, and love will come back to me.

I believe God foresees my future and he has greater plans than what anyone of us has for ourselves...

That i just have to keep believing.

That i just have to stop worrying unnecessarily, and be happy with whatever i am doing now.

And then...

The feelings i am having now will go away.

They just will go.

As i know I am loved and blessed.

My time will come.

Very soon.

Now in Sem4

2010-03-15T18:00:00.001+08:00

Believe it or not; it's like only couples of months ago i started this 4-year degree course, yet now i'm almost half way through. I am in my forth semester. Forth!

Gosh, where did the time goes?

And i still noticed i haven't very well coped with this hectic course i take up just yet; you know, as in all those clinical attachment, dealing with patients, assignments, tests and such. Sometimes the workload is like a mountain (like Mount Everest, eh?). I don't know. At times i still struggled.

Not with studies, get me right. But it's that i haven't developed sufficient passion at all. I still wonder will i ever make it if my passion keeps diminishing time after time? How am i going to excel when my heart is no longer on the books and all the nursing stuff?

What a pain in the heart. I seem like slowly losing it all.

And yet without been able to fully settled and prepared, the clinical attachment for semester 4 starts already. Just today. and there're ten weeks to go altogether.

So this morning, first day in the hospital, we were orientated to the place again as needed. The welcoming speech from the matron was ombg-ly long. I felt that my beard would have started growing if i had any. But nay. Anyway, you get my point, don't you?

Too long a speech, yet the only point that managed to totally sink in my mind was that:

*The change is in you; if you want to change*

It got me thinking for quite some time and realized that it's really about time for me to give a go. Shake off all the negativities and press forward. I know i've been repeating this all the time but never have i made any big steps ahead yet. Indeed, it needs too much of courage and determination.

And i'm sorta lack of both.

Argh, any way it is; no matter how difficult it seems to be, dammit, this time i've just gotta go on and constantly keep my spirit up. Unless i want to waste my time for another option.

Right, the change is in me, if i will to change. So i'm going to put in all that it has to take. Even though previously i learnt in life that it's never guarenteed our efforts are always gonna pay off every time. Who knows i just might finally totally fed up and quit?

Who knows.

But then previously i learnt also in life that faith does miracle in our lives. I experienced many and i felt the magic. So I'm hoping for another.

*Fingers crossed*

Happy posting, Kelly. Be happy; Be positive.

A saturday scribble- long.time.no.see

2010-03-14T02:14:00.000+08:00

Too few for being a blogger, no matter periodic or full-time.

My apology for not updating my blog for donkey years.

I just had a couple of totally eventful (busy) weeks that's more than words can describe, and had thus make me breathless. Never mind that i still checked my hotmail and facebook often, but mind that tests are really breathtaker. Totally killers. I almost burnout. Died.

Of course, it wasnt that the tests were difficult. It's just a test, not exam, so why a fuss? Uh but I swear i never felt so worried and stressed like this before. Once, I even needed a dose of antidepressant.

So excuse me. Pardon me for burning the midnight oil in truth. I never liked studying everything only the day before the test. But i did it for the past few days. I still couldn't believe myself doing that. I ought to keep my words: once bitten twice shy; never will i repeat this again. Never ever.

By the way, apart from this devastating thing, i think my life's totally blessed. I'm happy with everything around me, and my inner growth. Not that i become a much better person or such, but the fact that i have discovered many things within myself that i hadn't yet unearthed before or dismissed. I'm going to utilise them for good.

Anyway, i strongly agree that self-confidence enhances your intrapersonal growth. It's important for everyone, and it means a lot.

A friend gave me compliments few days ago for my nursing blog. Great thanks to him. First, for the compliments. Second, for reminding me that i haven't updated my nursing blog at all for decades. I feel guilty. So ok, I will continue to post some in the coming weeks. Stay tuned, ok?

I learn that i might not have written very inspiring, outstanding or whatever (nursing) blogs, but there's always someone out there who is willing to appreciate them. So i hereby have a few words to this special one(s): Thank you so much. You're a part of the reason i carry on. I want you to know.

I guess....
The above is all for now. Wait for the next entry. Tata.

DIY Mashed potato

2010-02-10T13:11:00.001+08:00

At last it’s not just an empty talk; an empty promise made. We worked it out and surprisingly we got a blinding success. Guess what, first try; we thought we could beat KFC. *wink*

Mashed potato- who doesn’t like it? I always like potato, particularly sweet potato, and I like it mashed too, served with gravy. You know the one in KFC- that’s my favourite. I was delighted to know that my housemates fancy mashed potato as well. That was when we decided to make one ourselves.

It wasn’t at all a big process, but it did make us work out tiny bit of sweat as mashing two packets of potatoes wasn’t as easy as thought. We used spoons and forks if you wanna know. To make the dish fine, we definitely had to mash’em carefully and properly. So it took time. Indeed.
Making gravy didn’t require too much time as we’d premade beef sauce that came in a tin. So it’s like making soup- more on seasoning (with mustard, pepper etc); then we had to repeatedly taste it to improve the flavour until we satisfied.

In fact, believe it or not, we started off feeling like an airbag; not exactly know how to do and whether we managed to succeed. The end product surprised us much. You know the feelings when you get something which you never expected- the feeling was just awesome! What’s more, it’s our own effort that counted.

Honestly I’m not the kind of girl who cooks a lot, and embarrassed again to say, I don’t bake. Maybe just once in a blue moon. (When can you ever see a blue moon?) But I really had wanted to learn and start baking and cooking like a real mama. So I suppose this was a good head start? At least I made something different right, though it wasn’t all by myself.

Next time, provided that we’ve enough quality time, we’re gonna give a go on steak or other western cuisine again. I just realized cooking itself can be quite a lot of fun sometimes. Me should really learn, not just those simple plain dishes I usually prepare. Some say deliciousa cooking can win men’s heart. I think I gotta… bet on it?

LOL.

Me.Love.Quoting2

2010-01-30T09:49:00.000+08:00

*And when you're single, people don't seem to bother about you; but when you're somebody's, other men on the street start to glance at you and wanna hook up with you. Guess what, people always want what others have. *

-- Marisa Mackle

Me.Love.Quoting1

2010-01-28T13:04:00.000+08:00

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We’ve done larger things, but not better things. We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, “I love you” to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person might not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.”

— Bob Moorehead

All my life

2010-01-26T00:27:00.000+08:00

I was chatting with a friend previously just now, when some time later he asked me about nursing:

Mr: Hey so apart from nursing, what do nurses learn?

Me: Nursing.

Mr: Isn't there anything else?

Me: Learn not to complain about nursing.

Talk to strangers

2010-01-25T08:24:00.000+08:00

Every now and then in our lives, we are always passing by strangers after strangers. Most of the time, we wouldn’t even be bothered who they are, what position they stand in this society and what they would possibly do in our lives. Would we?

I would. Sometimes. Of course, it depends on whom I’m meeting.

You know how parents always warned us about strangers when we were younger? That does it—we’re used to think that strangers are dangerous because we don’t know a shit about them. We were taught not to talk to strangers since small. But then what now? There’re always good and bad amongst people. Some strangers you meet along the way are definitely wise and decent; you don’t know you might just meet one someday.

For me, I don’t really mind talking to strangers when I’m out and about in the city. Naturally it’s gotta be strangers whose impressions are kinda fine with me. A friend once thought I’m weird, and that I’m just being naive as it’s risky for I wouldn’t know whom I’m running into. Alright, I got his message that I should be ultra careful. I keep that in mind. By the way, hey I don’t just simply walk up to anyone I meet on the street or elsewhere and then strike a conversation. That’s pretty nut-ty. Unless one day I’m very much confident in myself and that I manage to get a hot guy by such.

But sadly I’m not, and this wouldn’t happen ever.

Speaking of talking to strangers, I was talking to one when I had my morning teh susu at petaling street after Sunday mass. That’s a content-ful but long talk. (p/s: I actually felt like walking away at certain stage.) This man sitting next to me was telling me about the realities of the society, the hidden dangers, how girls should be careful when they’re having a day out and such. Like a daddy teaching young daughters about self-protection.

That did me some good for sure, but then I was a bit pissed off as deep inside, he seemed to think that Sarawakians are naïve as they come from rural area, which is not. Why, eh? Because we live in forest and we sail to go to school? Or worst of all, we’re not properly educated? What are we? Tarzans? We don’t swing from trees to trees. We have lifts to get down from the tree tops. Pretty advanced there too, do people not know?

Duh. Why the perceptions always unchanged?

Anyway I think he should be one good person. You see now how life gives you surprises sometimes through this little little thing. After all talking to strangers isn’t that bad; we get a bit of something from them too you see- I wouldn’t know some ways Hong Kong people live if he didn’t tell. I wouldn’t know *this* and *that* yada yada, right?

So talk to strangers, I dare to believe God sometimes send thy messages through certain people too. Tee-hee.

Me. My new year '10

2010-01-23T10:25:00.000+08:00

Aww, January is almost coming to an end. Where had i gone?

Right now, I'm already in my second week of the new semester. Fourth semester in nursing if you wanna know. Time really flies, does it not? I still can't believe i'm nearly half way through the course-- 2.5 years left for graduation! Indeed, i feel myself getting much older now and that i wish so much i can earn already. I wanna make money. I just can't wait till 2012/2013!

Ask, why do i seem desperate to earn huh? Because *It's these small coins and papers that actually do the big things to us* Pardon me for having sounded so money-orientated, but agree with me not-- it's the fact!

For the past few weeks, i'd spent quite a lot of my sister's money. More than i could imagine. And that totally made me feel so bad! Even though my world's best sister doesnt mind at all. Duh.

And you know how different it feels when you spend your own money instead of others. On things that you like, especially those which you want but not need, you don't have to think thrice before buying. Aint i right? Lol. But hold on, don't get me wrong first- I'm not that kinda spendthrift. It's just that there're too many things that i like, particularly arts and crafts. Say, when i went to singapore few days ago, i came across a lot of those which came from china. The traditional ones! Ohhh you just don't know how much i *heart* them! But too bad i couldn't getta buy as the prices were dear and that i didn't feel like asking my sister to buy for me. Rather, save those money for her own good, like buying clothes and girly stuff which she loves most. In fact i don't actually need those, but still i definitely will buy them if i'm using my own money.

Sad. Pathetic. See that's why i wish to earn ASAP.

By the way, have i ever mentioned that i like collecting quotes and such? I bet not, but anyway this doesnt matter. I just wanna share something which i came across just now. The words sink into my heart.

*Do not be afraid of the unfamiliar

Let it challenge you to grow beyond the limits of your smaller self.

Let the tide of the new sweep through you

Bringing you an understanding of who you really are*

Does it not sound so true? May it sinks into yours too. Break all the rules, go for what you want and challenge yourself so that you can stretch and reach higher.

Love and hugs.

Focus on what you have --Ch7

2010-01-01T09:34:00.000+08:00

If you really think in depth, you may find out a lot of things that you want to change out of yourself. Rather than focusing on those areas which are hardly changeable, why don’t you pay more attentions on the areas that you are good in?

We notice people saying, “Pity me, I was born short, this makes me hard to find pretty gowns for parties.” Otherwise, we even hear things like, “Why couldn’t I be a better public speaker? People around are so good, I am fallen behind.”

Instead of sitting back, pitying yourself, thinking that you’re the worst person in the world that you can’t do anything better, why don’t you encourage yourself by saying, “I might not be as good, but there are something inside me that others don’t have and might be jealous of me.” Tell yourself that you are to use these capabilities to push yourself higher.

You have just got to keep pressing forward. Most likely, when you’re shutting yourself from the world, feeling depressed about something you can’t change, people won’t come to you and say, “Ok, I’m going to sit with you and wait for some miracles to happen.” They rather leave you and go after their dreams and hopes. They are busy with their life, why would they bother so much?

Be realistic. Yes, you can’t run as fast as others because the gap in heights is large. But since you’re smaller in size, you are lighter. And most probably, you can develop a faster speed than them. Maybe you don’t win them, but you have proceeded to become better. Isn’t this a great thing you had strived for yourself?

Quit feeling depressed over something you can’t change. Life is too dull if you always want to take a back seat. Focus on your good sides, and then use them in order to progress further and higher. Keep reminding yourself, “I am imperfect, yet I have talents that others might not have. I am going to use them in my life onwards to make me someone better.”

(Written on September, 08 by KellyTingYeeru)

original copy. Please pardon me for any mistakes, poor essay or otherwise.

Gracias.

Looking into the mirror --Ch6

2009-12-30T14:28:00.000+08:00

Take a few seconds to think these questions accordingly. How many times a day do you spend in front of the mirror? What do you see whilst looking into your reflection and what do you normally do in front of it? Lastly, what do you think is the main reason having a mirror?

I never really asked myself until I, by chance, came across a young lady in a public washroom in a mall one weekend. She was a pretty lady with outstanding features and trendy outfit. She was in front of the mirror ever since I entered, adjusting her clothes, hair-do, make-up and such. I couldn’t assume how much time she had been there. She seemed not satisfied with herself at all, although I thought she looked just perfect.

Many people, like her, can spend a long time just in front of the mirror adjusting their physical appearance. It doesn’t matter males or females, it all happens the same. I understand the fact that every one of us wants to look neat and tidy. We want to look more perfect than it has already seemed. But, honestly, at some points, we are asking too much out of ourselves. We are pushing ourselves too hard, aren’t we?

What is the matter if the color of your make-up fades a little? When there is tiny dirt on your party dress, do you think it worths feeling so upset? People around you are praising that you look very nice and attractive, what are you not satisfied yet?

Wanting to idealize ourselves is essential, but, bear this in mind, we can’t be exactly perfect at all times. If you are expecting too much from yourself, never will you be satisfied. You will always unearth different imperfection out of yourself.

Of course we can make some improvements on our imperfection, but we can’t expect ourselves to be as perfect as the Barbie dolls we notice inside the toy stores. Therefore, don’t try to push yourself too hard to become the perfect one that everyone around you might agree. Be satisfied, nothing and nobody is ever perfect. Imperfections also have their own deal of perfections.

(Written on September, 08 by KellyTingYeeru)

original copy. Please pardon me for any mistakes, poor essay or otherwise.

Gracias.

Me vs year 2009

2009-12-29T10:07:00.000+08:00

Year 2009 is almost ending. What've we got thus far?

Here's little sharing of some of my shattered pieces throughout the year. Not all are in though, like my tattoo, s3z07 gathering and such. It's an interesting year to me. Somehow i hope for the better to come, still, in year 2010 =D

Lastly hope you guys the best-- health, studies, work, family&friends, wealth. Cheers.

Bye '09; Hello '10

2009-12-29T10:00:00.000+08:00

Okiez, year 2009 is almost ending. I feel that I have to write something on my blog page.

Ask, how’s my year been? What comes in my mind first is an awful lot of complaints. Not to deny, many frustrating things had stumbled upon me months ago, leaving me weary and disappointed with the life I was living. I was worn up, but somehow I’d pulled through finally. Guess those are what that made me stronger both mentally and spiritually now; I appreciate them, they make me more mature.

This year, I feel entirely grateful for the blessings granted on my family, friends, studies and then my personal growth. I understand myself a lot more than yesterday, and have settled myself for tomorrow, without regretting the path I’ve chosen anymore. I truly give thanks for the achievements I’d and many other good things such as opportunity to meet up with my best buddy who came home only once per year, new friends, fabulous trip and such. And, although I’ve yet gotten into any relationship, I gain many precious friendships which I cherish.

Throughout this year I learnt many lessons from what I’d encountered. You know, sometimes it’s easy to say you know this and that, but then when you really face some problems, you are whacked. Uh, I feel like jotting down some of which I remember more clearly here:

1. In life, there’s no absolute right or wrong. In both cases, there’re always sensible rationales behind each. Know what you really want, what’s best for you and do as your heart desires. Once decided, don’t regret or feel guilty.

2. Put yourself in other’s shoes and think for them. Be more understanding and forgiving, you make your life easier.

3. Life needs discipline. Stick to what you set for yourself and keep stirred up. Otherwise you’ll ruin your own life.

4. Some things are better left unsaid; some stories are better left untold. Keep your words; you don’t have to tell the world everything you’re thinking.

5. Don’t be ethnocentrism. Don’t place your own standards and values on others and expect them to be what you want them to be.

6. Be less criticism. Many can’t accept the fact of being told off, even though they know they’re wrong. If they’d change, they would have changed earlier.

7. Think fast but talk slow. Words slipped out from the mouth can’t be taken back again. They are powerful weapons that kill, so be aware of what you’re saying.

8. What are you? Don’t think of changing a world; you can’t even change a person. To be true, it takes a great fall to actually change a person’s personalities/ worldviews.

9. Life’s unfair. It never is.

10. Stop complaining about your dull life. Life’s never dull; it depends on how you view it. Your life’s dull if you’re dull.

11. Dare to take any chances.

12. Step out from your protective shelter; you’re too old to be under supervision all the time. Discover the world outside, learn to face them on your own and gain life lessons from it.

13. Listen to more of other’s life stories and learn from their mistakes too.

14. You don’t have multi- brain but just one. Do one thing at one time; take only one step at a time.

15. Action speaks louder than words. Act them out!

16. Don’t trust your friends too much. Sometimes they’re dangerous; bad friends spread rumours about you.

They’re simple stuffs, but somehow they’ll definitely benefit me a lot if I could abide with them my whole life. I, with all my heart, hope for the better to come in year 2010. Right now, I’m very much looking forward to mid Jan, Chinese New Year and July. I pray for more good things to come. Happy 2010!

Keep you reminded --Ch4

2009-12-29T07:16:00.000+08:00

Ever since I was young, I was forgetful and careless. It was very often that I forgot to bring my notes and textbooks to school and therefore got scolded. My mum always said, “Why are you so absent-minded? I assumed that you are just not serious with what you are doing.”

Honestly, I had no idea if she was right. It couldn’t be the reason that I was not serious. Say, during my time in senior high school, I had a very strict English teacher whom I was afraid of and had never wanted to make a mistake during her lessons. Although I was conscientious, I still forgot to bring her books to class many times. At this point, I was black-listed which made me feel really bad.

Realizing the severity of problem, I thought it was time for me to find a solution for the problem rather than to think about what that was which made me so forgetful. So I got myself a piece of small note, written: Remember to bring English books, and pasted it on the wall beside my bed. Every time I woke up, I could keep myself reminded. This significant help had indeed prevented me from forgetting books. I could remember by nature without depending on the paper sooner than it seemed. Yes, it became a habit.

Do you realize? Very often in life, we have things that we always wanted to do yet we keep forgetting. We tell ourselves, I want high score for this project. I need to read these notes every night before I sleep so that I can finish them in time and gather enough information. However, when it is late at night, after an eventful day, you just can’t remember reading the notes that you have asked yourself to. You only realized that you have missed a lot when the time becomes constricted.

Knowing this might happen, why don’t you get your must-do stuff written on a note and paste it somewhere significant so that you are reminded every time seeing it? We can’t remember everything in our lives; therefore it is not embarrassing upon doing this. I heard people saying, if you often forget something, find a way to keep you reminded and doing it. By doing this times after times, it will be just at your finger tips. You are used to this new habit.

It can also be one kind of motivations. Provided that you want to success in life yet you have weak spirit of determination, do as I say. Keep yourself reminded every morning when you wake up that you “keep yourself stirred up, keep doing better in life.” Having motivated, you will feel that the day seems more fascinating than usual as you will be looking forward to good things happening in your life and that you will be able to handle them better than yesterdays.

Yes, keep yourself reminded of your must-do. Just keep yourself doing it. It is amazing when these habits finally come to you supernaturally.

(Written on September, 08 by KellyTingYeeru)

original copy. Please pardon me for any mistakes, poor essay or otherwise.

Gracias.

Win more friendships --Ch3

2009-12-27T05:41:00.000+08:00

There are times when you first enter a place, a university, a company or otherwise. There, you feel desperately lonely because you are going to stay for quite some time without your best friends or any known friends. You nervously look around the place, trying to get an overall image of it and then quickly find a corner where you think can hide from those staring eyes at you, to ease yourself.

You are overanxious about things around you. When the two boys opposite whisper to each other, you fear that they are talking about you. You are concerned about your appearance at all times, worried that it will stop others from befriending with you if you look hilarious. You think twice before asking, you are always feeling uneasy.

You put yourself in a hard situation. Because of anxiety, you can’t smile lovingly. You barely look as friendly as you naturally do. You are stopping yourself from having more friends. I understand if the new situation makes you feel uncomfortable. But since you are there, why don’t you take the chance to get some friendships?

In fact, you can’t sit there and wait for others to take the first move. You are new, so it is you who take the moves to win attention first. Wear on a smile, have a topic to talk about in mind and approach the person whom you like to be friend with. Even though you are not good in socializing, you should know at least how to greet a person and how to praise.

Say, you notice a young lady nearby and you really wish to become one of her friends. Approach her and talk to her. You can start with praises like “You look great in this dress” or such to show your appreciation. Everyone loves being praised, she will like you. Don’t afraid that you look awkward, just be easy with yourself and cheer up the atmosphere. Also, provided that she is with her group of friends later, join in as well. You need more friends, not just one.

There is one common saying in Chinese: At home, you rely on your parents. But as you’re away from home, you need to rely on friends. It is friends that help when you’re in difficulties. They give you shelter and comfort. It is friends that accompany you throughout your life outside. Hence you must know how to befriend people around you and not to behave unfriendly.

Win more friendships, you’re making your life easier.

(Written on September, 08 by KellyTingYeeru)
original copy. Please pardon me for any mistakes, poor essay or otherwise.
Gracias.

Each has its way --Ch 2

2009-12-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

Most of you must have played the snakes and ladders game during childhood. It is a board game which you need to toss a dice to decide your moves to reach your treasure finally. There are snakes along the way, on which you step on, you may slide downward. Nevertheless, there are ladders that help you reach higher and shorten your time to reach the treasure.

This game is alike the life we undergo.

Often in real life, I hear people saying, “That guy had a good option, that’s why he is quick in earning money. Unlike me, the job I chose is such a struggle. How I wish I had been given a better choice.”

No, stop thinking this way. Everyone has different fortune, different life. We can’t make comparison, nor be jealous about other’s good life. Life is just like the board game. Maybe you have the skill to toss the dice to win, but sometimes bad luck might just pull you down and make you lose.

Say, both you and your friend, graduated from the same course, come into the society together and happen to work in the same company. You are very capable and have the prospect of being promoted to a higher level. You really work hard yet your friend, who has the same capabilities as yours, gets promoted first. This is distressing, isn’t it? Having known this, would you blame the manager for not promoting you first? Would you go for a collective bargaining? What’s more, would you go on strike?

I believe you wouldn’t. In truth, you just can’t do anything about it but give in instead. You will have to go ahead and make another go again for the following promotion.

Yes, we all know our lives have alternatives, some are pleasing but some are not. Despite how bad it is, it is forever a path to reach a destiny. Sometimes it is naturally hard to accept them at the outset, but see— these bad paths may have prolonged the time for you to reach the final, nonetheless, there’s always something for you to achieve. They aren't really that bad after all.

Life is full of ups and downs. In any case, don’t get set back. However it is, don’t be jealous about other’s better life or dream that you hope you might have one like theirs some day. You might, but meanwhile, face the truth that everyone has different life. We can’t expect everyone to have the same fortune. So just focus on your current life, and appreciate it. All is not a lost; you can still success in your future.

(Written on September, 08 by KellyTingYeeru)

original copy. Please pardon me for any mistakes, poor essay or otherwise.

Gracias.

Once, a dream of becoming Writer

2009-12-24T23:23:00.000+08:00

A friend asked me one afternoon if i had anything i'd wanna have or do when i grow up? To be honest, there are lots of course. But since before that, we were actually talking about our dream houses, i just told him that i would want a pretty garden in my backyard whereby i can have my coffee break or chit-chat section, and then enjoy a lovely afternoon with some smooth music. That would be very lovely. I'd also want a corner for all the artistic pieces, trophies and such. Yea, both are all right, i always want to have these. And i remember writing about em in Ms Wee's paper-- in senior one i supposed. Haha.

The above was just a random talk. When i thought about it again later, what came in my mind was one thing that seriously had been in my mind all the while when i was younger.

I dreamt to publish a book. I always admire those who manage to publish one around my age. In fact, before i graduated from my high school, some teachers and friends already helped me to fulfill part of it. That wasnt my personal book, don't get me wrong. It was for the chinese language club, and i was the editor. Weee. And because of that, the calling to write a book got stronger. Especially when i heard someone around my age actually had their books in the market, i got more "fired-up*. LOL. Okie, I felt like i had to do it.

And i really did.

But then, a girl like me, as i said, easily demotivated and discouraged. Writing a book indeed is time consuming so after writing some chapters i totally stopped. I aint feeling sorry about that already though. I know i just hardly get any further already.

Gladly and surprisingly, simple questions could lead me to all these memories. Ahaha, and it reminded me of the scribbled chapters in my laptop-- hadnt read it for so long already. (I wrote them last year.) So i think i'm gonna publish some chapters in this blog soon purely for sharing. Stay tuned. =D

Bloggers appreciate supports, no matter how good or bad their blogs are. You know how much you mean to me. XOXO.

Ask me what im up to =D

2009-12-24T14:55:00.000+08:00

Argh. Time flies.

Now that a week of my holidays was already gone, and the second is almost over. Can you imagine how fast the time flies? It's like a blink of an eye, and whooosh- gone. Duh, cepatnya kan?

I just reached my hometown yesterday evening. Sweet as it is, it always felt so good to be home. Look at my living room, kitchen, every corner of the house, my study table, bedroom, and particularly, my stiuped but world's best doggie... Aww, I'd missed them so; the words can't tell at all.

For the past few days, during my stay in miri, it was absolutely fantastic. I'm truly thankful for having this group of new friends. They're like sparks that lighted up my life. Once again, my life's full of colours. Lovely.

If i could stay there a bit longer, i would. The stay was pleasant. Actually what that'd made it so meaningful and such was that i felt anew, in the sense that i made new great friends, learnt new things like beading, guitar., got new sets of thinkings yada yada. And i discovered a new buddy, who shares similar thinkings as i do have. Isnt this awesome? =D

I got a whole lotsa photos to share in this blog in actual fact, but they might take some time to be uploaded and i'm bit of um, lazy. See how long i hadnt kept in touch with my bloggie. And, what's more, the connection here is a lag, so nay...

Yesterday before i left, I was telling myself i was gonna miss them and yes, i admit i really do. Say, we had been seeing each other days and nights, have each and every meals together, sang and had all kinda craziness together. All of a sudden, life gets back to its usual quietness, why would i not miss?

And um, i'd been practising guitar all the while. It's like almost every night, i was with my guitar tutor, learning, playing some sick beats and singing, sometimes. Aww, how much fun i'd had! It all had to come to an end already. Saddening...

BUT!

I know i'm blessed, ahaha! I know all is not a lost. These friends are coming over to Sibu this Friday, for a two-day stay. Whoa. They're bringing guitar as well so that we "yiak law" band can still sing and record em again. Yo, sing our lungs out, whoot whoot! My family is thinking of asking them to have a dinner at my house too. Yet to be confirmed, still. Whatever that're coming up, i believe will all be great.

I.am.very.much.looking.forward.to.it. =D

By the way, fellaz~~ it's almost Christmas! What plans have you all had? I hope you have a blessed one. I shall whisper some prayers for all when i go to church later. Merry christmas!

XoXo!

Give thanks for Friendz

2009-12-15T23:14:00.000+08:00

*Feeling warmth*

I received this short e-mail couples of days ago and undeniably, it delighted me. Friends really are wonderful gifts in our lives you see. They are amazing; they know what you're up to and they send regards just right on time. I really appreciate these with all my heart.

Now, i already hear the footsteps of Santa. They're getting closer by each day. Yes, Christmas is near, meaning that a year is almost coming to an end. A perfect time it is for thanksgiving- think about the bits and pieces we've gone through thus far and be grateful for no matter how good or bad they are.

So this year for me is pretty peachy. Many things happen and obviously they all mean something! Of course i gotta give thanks. But amongst all, right now, just one thing that i've been truly grateful is this friend, F.

We never knew each other, and how on earth would we ever expect such a thing. This world is just small. (*It's a small world after all x2...* lalala, sing with me Lol) Anyway we met in a bookstore. I wrote about this in a previous blog before. (www.princesakelly24.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!15E51815932AA113!1340.entry)

It happened in April. After that we never kept in touch until July, when we started writing to each other. Short greeting letters, sharings about life, and oh yea, he's often sending me his latest paintings. He's an artist if you want to know. We share our problems, talk about weather places, or even relationships thingy.

Some friends said it's like a date online, but hell no, don't take this wrong alright. While it could be a friendly conversation, it's also like a dad-daughter's. Aint sure though, but i suppose he's around 8 years older.

I am grateful for i once barely believed a friendship like this would ever last. You know how difficult it is sometimes to manage when both are so far away and never ever met or just met once? Donkey years ago, I had one girl-friend from michigan. She was nice and friendly, but never did we work out at last. Hmm, but i was fine anyhow =D

Recently i deeply realize how good friends can also be not trustworthy. there're always gossips or rumours, whatever. Indeed, some secrets really need to be kept; some stories should never be told. At times, i think having had a friend who's so far away is kinda nice. Without fear, I can say anything. It's about security you see.

*Keep shining

Keep smiling

Knowing you can always count on me

For sure; That's what friends are for*

A great song from Stevie Wonder that keeps playing in my mind. I give thanks for sucha sucha friend, and also many of you here. Keep shining, keep smiling; I can always count on you, and so do you. That's what friends are for. =D

What if we're deaf

2009-12-13T13:39:00.000+08:00

This is crazy; but somehow i'm wondering if we're born deaf, how would this world seem to us? Maybe it would be more wonderful, who knows; a better place that's full of imaginations and that one would discover less imperfections that ever exist.

Ears, are for hearing. For communication, for learning, for music, for the bittersweet stories a friend shares, for everything. Because we listen, we discover something from another. They could be good, but i tell you >60% of the times they aren't though.

Rumours, complaints, gossips, and um some music i.e hard metal or such, noise pollution from cars, construction in cities, especially, and etc. (you name it) So tell me now, where're the good stuffs?

*Headache*

Say, this happened to me this morning: I was in a lrt, about to go back after shopping in the city. A guy walked in with his friends. Looking good and was like somewhere around my age i guessed. He was just seated in front of me. And I was watching; He's fair, not nerdy-looking, a bit trendy and um, he's just fine. Yeap.

I really thought so, but then from the moment he started speaking and behaving, I'd just gotta take my words back. Duh, it's far beyond one's expectation. All the wonders vanished in just few seconds. Devastated.

Ok, pardon me, i wasn't trying to be mean. But the fact was if i weren't able to hear, at least i'd still appreciate the good things in him right, ahah. Not to say i was a busybody, or i was rude for overhearing others' conversation. C'mon they talked so loudly, and i'd got no impaired ears. With ears, we are sensitive to the sounds around us; we hear we listen. How could i not bother then?

So i said, if only i were deaf, i would not bother. LOL.

There were many things around us which we once thought were fantastic, but the media somewhat destroyed them. Like the celebrity news we heard from radio, tv etc. "Ah, ah that actress took nude photos, how daring!" or "Brad Pitt secretly met up with Anniston again to complain about his own wife. Dammit."

We heard news like these most of the time. After all the good images of them were all destroyed, becoming pieces of crap. Haha, that's why i was thinking too, the least we knew and heard of, the better it was. Like, the couples over that street were quarrelling like dogs and cats. Being unable to hear, you might just think "Oh, perhaps they're talking something that's super exciting and got them turned on." And you go on imagining what possible topics it could be. Even the sounds around us. The sounds from the nature.

The world becomes so quiet. It's full of your imaginations; It becomes anything you want it to be. Isn't this nice?

Lol. So, what if we're deaf?

I think, and believe: if we really are, it simply would be less imperfect this world seems. XD

Hola, who's inda house?

2009-12-12T04:53:00.000+08:00

It's me again. A periodic blogger who's like no other, living a simple life yet always go crazy about it. Why? There're simply too many ups and downs no matter how i tryna make it simple-r. They drive me crazy; give me nightmares. But, they also make my life interesting. Life's like a roller coaster ride, you know.

*Yawns*

So here again, I've gotta start blog about ME thing. Introduction is always boring, but i'd tryna make it bubbly a bit. If i could. So let's ask:

What's about you?
A student in nursing, who's always thought about getting outta the field and do something else. I always complaint, "Argh. No life." yet in the end i never quit as i just so 'loved' nursing that i even created a nursing blog. Can you believe it? Anyway, check out my another blog ---> http://www.princesakelly-nursing.blogspot.com/ But i think i'm gonna move everything to this newborn. Okie, i promise i wont change again; This will be my permanent home onwards.

Are you a passionate blogger?
Blogging is not about passion. It's simply an interest. I make blogging a hobby. So i'ma freako. I hold three blogs, plus this four altogether.

1. http://www.princesakelly24.spaces.live.com/ ---> my very first, yet haf to abandon it for the sake of the newborns. Still can check it out, to see what i bitched about life. Ahaha.
2. http://www.lovecastillo.spaces.live.com/ ---> my temporary live blog for the new email account i'd just turned to couple of days ago: kelly.catherine@live.com
3. http://www.princesakelly-nursing.blogspot.com/ ---> my nursing blog, had once been so proud of it since i finally created one. But nursing blogs are boring, so i decided to crash it altogether with my others here.
4. http://www.ladyimperfecto.blogspot.com/ ---> the new babi. Like i said, never gonna change again. If i do, i'ma real BABI.

So i'm not a passionate blogger. I'm simply INSANE.

Why do you enjoy being imperfect?
Nobody's ever perfect in this world. Unless we're saints but no way, we're not. So instead of grieving over the imperfections, why not just appreciate them? Imperfections also have their deals or state of perfections, duncha agree? *applause* =D

What quotation represents your world-views?
Most of you'll definitely agree. *The grass is always greenner on the other side.*

So, that's all folk. If you like me, thank you, befriend me. If you hate me, thank you, too, but DONT befriend me. I'll ruin your life. I'm just who i am, not gonna simply change myself to do others favour. Unless you have something that makes me totally surrender to you. Ahaha, challenge me =D

Angel and demon. I can be both. Ahahahah, screw meh!